In 2010, I graduated with a B.Comm (Bachelor of Commerce). My plan was to graduate with an honours degree but given that it was during that period of time that I had my intense spiritual awakening and the onset of my psychiatric illness, that I graduated with a regular degree and not the honours one.
In the past 10 years, I had contemplated going back to university numerous times. I had never held a job for more than three months and this time, I thought, I should go back to university, now that I am stable, and begin a fresh start and re-enter the workforce. I would thus go to complete my honours degree.
I applied to York University and there was a block on my account. They couldn’t review my application until the block was removed. It turns out that I had to speak with the community relations office manager in order to get the block lifted and my account reinstated.
The reason for the block, as I had thought before meeting with the manager, was due to incidences that occured at the university while I was off my meds. As in 2018, when I was released from prison, and was homeless, I resorted to the university as my place of abode. And I stayed there for about three weeks sleeping in random locations and causing awkward situations with other students that led to complaints being filed on me.
The security was called numerous times on me and there was a couple of incidences where the ambulance came to pick me up to take me to the hospital. One time, it was an overnight stay at the hospital with a psychiatric assessment. I was also kicked out of university grounds a couple of times.
These incidences were infact why the manager of community relations at York University mentioned were the reasons for my block. Although, at the time of meeting with him he didn’t discuss the particlars of the incidents, he mentioned that there were events that took place in 2018 as well as 2020 that affected other students.
The manager did confirm to me that the block will be lifted, however, there are certain measures that the university will have to take as per their policies but that they are not looking to punish me but want to foster a propper rehabilitation process.
Soon after the block was lifted, I received and offer of admission to York University and I accepted the offer and was later admitted.
Given that I would be entering the university in the winter term (2026), so in January, I have a few months of not much to do. So a perfect way to get into the grind of school and studying is to take a course. So I decided to take the Canadian Securities Course. This course would refresh my memory on what I studied at york when I as enrolled (2006-2010) and it would also give me an edge as I rejoin the workforce.
The course is expensive and I waited almost two weeks to get my social security cheque so I can afford to pay for the course. And paying for it cost me all my money for the month. I studied the first three chapters and found what I was studying was enjoyable and gave me something to do.
However, last night, I was overwhelmed with second thoughts. And the idea was that pursuing studies at the university and doing the CSC was a bad idea. And I appreciate these thoughts, because these thoughts are the same ones that got me getting my puppy and my kitten. And the same thoughts that got me getting rid of the puppy when it was no longer serving me. They are the thoughts that propell my happiness at all times and I listen to these thoughts.
I think I’ll just stay put for now until I come closer and closer and towards moving my ideal life and vision.