Numb

I’m having more days where I’m feeling emotionally numb.

I mean, there are more points during the day where I feel numb.

And I know precisely why this is happening.

It’s because I’m not leaving the house and interacting with people.

It’s because, as it is becoming more clear and evident, that I’m not getting sex nor anything remotely close to that given that I’m at home by myself most of all the time.

Today is Friday, and the last time I was out and about was on Monday.

I had left an item at the post office that needed to be picked up for over a week. I just been having a hard time getting out the house due to the intense amount of tiredness I am feeling. The fatigue feels like it’s down to the bones.

When I was out, I had three interactions with girls. The first at the post office, as I was leaving, I glimpsed a cute girl and decided that I would do nothing forward inasmuch as just compliment her. And I did about her sweater which she then proceeded to tell me the story behind it. She was very inviting and friendly but as I told myself, it was just about the compliment.

I just wanted to see where I stand now with regards to how women respond and react to me given my renewed and rejuvenated energy and state of mind. And it went positive.

Then I went to pick up some food. There was a blonde there working and we hit it off really well and had a really long discussion about smoking. She was a smoker.

After that I headed to the bus stop where I found an absolutely stunning girl waiting for the bus. I didn’t want to go out of my way at this point and decided to keep away at this point. And she reacted to me anyway. So much so, that when the bus arrived she sat all the way in the back allowing room for me to sit by her. Which I did and started chatting with her

The interaction went so well that I almost missed my stop and I felt so elevated that evening that I was on a whole other plane. A stunning woman who gave me her full attention and interacted with me sent me to the highest of the highs.

And now, I know for sure, that this is what makes me really really happy. It’s not just about interacting with people anymore, it’s about interacting with extremely attractive women that makes me so completely and utterly blissfully happy.

So I know the remedy to how I’ve been feeling is going out and interacting with these women.

And it’s coming to the point that a little interaction would not suffice and there is no reason whatsoever for me to come home alone. And sleep alone. This is slowly being deleted as an option

For the goal is to foster awesome relationships with these females and keep the relationship and romance going.

So  I know very well why I’m feeling low and down. The way I am living right now is not sustainable without any people nor relationships involved.

And the aim has been and is to find and be with beautiful women and have consistent sex and develop friendships with them so I can have a bountiful life amongst my desired friends.

My excuse is that I’m feeling oh so tired and can’t get myself out the door, funnily that I’m sitting in the yard right now and waiting for an order of groceries so I can cook up a meal tonight.

But feeling like this is unacceptable and I’m going to take it upon myself to seek and attain sex regardless of the tiredness that I feel, because, perhaps, the sex energy that is of formation dilutes and dissolves all this fatigue altogether.

Perhaps, and highly possible that this is the solution and antidote to how I’m feeling.

And getting this sex energy into my life will improve it drastically. And I’m positive I would be getting back to the deep cleaning of my place and the making of fruit salads and the working out.

Definately, I got it. I completely got it. It is very clear and evident right now. Sex is an absolute must.

I do need to give myself a little push to leave the apartment and go out and do my best to form a relationship and a sexual one at that with women that I meet.

This is completely the remedy I need right now, and ongoing, ofcourse, but the thing is that it has come to the point that I am not to be postponing sex anymore.

I’ve been saying that I’m not ready. And the reason I’m not ready is because I don’t feel I have the energy for it. But, I witness it directly, that once an interaction with a woman happens, magic happens.

So it’s just that, gotta give myself that push to get out and get this happening.. For, given that it is essential part of life and I have come to that understanding and conviction as I wrote in my last blog post.. Then what the heavens am I waiting for…

Go out and get it… Quit lamenting and get the sex and begin the new life now.