I am currently diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. The way this started out was, focusing on the diagnosis, was that it was first bipolar disorder and then with time the diagnosis became schizoaffective. Now the way things unfolded for me is a little bit strange because the whole onset of my “mental illness” happened after a meditative/spiritual experience and practice. However, the symptoms that emerged out of that experience is the same or similar to anybody else with the same or a similar diagnosis.
The thing is, right now, I am doing really terrifcly awesome. And I would like to point out some of the things thst I have done in my life that lead me to feel this awesome. This is because the medication for such a disorder is extremely debilitating and usually people who just adhere to the medical treatment do not usually feeal so terrificly awesome. This is usually the reason why people insist on not taking their medication and/or try to get off them quickly. They complain about their medication because it is tough dealing with their side-effects.
Through out the times, I tried my best to take an integral approach and delved into different alternative medicine as is discussed in my article the exclaims that alternative medicine is as good as modern medicine. These alternative medicine includes such modalities as TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine), Herbology and Naturopathy to name a few. And I have adhered myself to many of the modalities that I speak of including those mentioned, as well as Zen Shiatsu (a Japanese mode of message therapy the incorporates chi energy -a subtle energy found within the body), Reiki, Acupuncture etc.
I have felt chi energy especially during my kundalini awakenings, to which I’ve had two of. The second of which is described here. And although the second kundalini eruption that occured with me was very scary and turned my life upside down and inside out and practically ruined my life for many years, I’m glad I got to experience it because I now know something of the unknown. I am so grateful for being where I am today and all my experiences combined made me who I am today. I am extremely happy with who I am, where I am and what I’m doing. But I do wish people have more positive experience all the time and don’t suffer at all. I believe in paving the way towards a life that is full of happiness and joy and bliss.
The alternative modalities that I adhered to are a majopr aspect of why I am feeling the greatness that I feel right now. I have also done multiple sessions of acupuncture along with cooking up and drinking a whole lot of Chinese herbs. Now acupuncture is a completely crazy modality. Acupuncture, I believe, is able to bring back to life somebody that has been pronounced dead. And this would be a good time to let you know about my article on immortality. The Chinese herbs are different from western ones in that you are expected to cook them for hours and the remedy ends up tasting completely horrid. This is medicine at its essence, this is how we healed from various ailments since the begininng of time (as opposed to western medicine that has only existed for a couple hundred years).
Herbs have been the avenue to treat all kinds of ailments from physical to emotional to psychological and spiritual. The efficacy of herbs is true, tried, attested and undeniable. It is baffeling that modern medicine and the FDA completely dismisses the validity of herbalism as a true medicine and sidelines its aptitude as mere “placebo” when it does what it is claimed to do. Perhaps it is because you can grow herbs in your own yard or even indoors. Perhaps it’s too empowering to the people. Perhaps it diminishes corporate and big pharmas profits that they don’t want you consuming something that heals you. And not only that, but heals the root causes of your issues and ailments.
In the past, everytime I delved into naturopathy, I did it with the intention to get off my medication. So I would take my naturopathic supplements and begin to do better and then think that I don’t need to take my psychotropic medications anymore and begin my journey to ween off the. And, as I do that, I end up entering an alternate state of consciousness that leads me, at the end, into some serious trouble. Thus, from these attempts, I ended up accumulating a decent criminal record with time spent in numerous prisons and psychiatric hospitals. This is supposedly due to my recklessness when I am not on medication. And, to add insult on top of injury, I still have a GPS tracker on my ankle at the time of this writing (however not house arrest but on curfew). The GPS tracker is there due to an incident that took place last time I was an in-patient at the hospital and I retaliated by attacking a nurse after being forced, involuntarily strapped down, and given a long acting antipsychotic injection. And this was after being there over a year in the hospital fighting for my right, in the courts, to not be given the needle if I choose not to. But I lost. And I was furious.
The circumstances one finds themselves at the hospital are extremely heart-breaking. Being locked in there with no way out. Being in an unnatural environment where everyone is medicated. And being under the supreme rulership of doctors and nurses with dozens of big security personnel to force you into complete submission. I’ve gotten over 50 needles during my last hospital stay; all with the presence of security guards that where used to hold and strap me to a bed! All this to “calm me down”. Please keep in mind that I hadn’t actually shown any kind of uncalm behaviour nor violence until they gave me the antipsychotic needle that I abhore (a year later) against my will. And the violent act I committed was a retaliation, in self-defence, for this major abuse that they had done unto me.
Charges were placed on me because of my actions and, in court, my circumstances were taken into consideration such as my mental health diagnosis. These curcuimstances helped me avoid “real jail” although I have had a history of doing time in those institutions. I showed deep remorse for what I had done and was apologetic. I made the promise to not get off medication anymore and continue to be on them. I mentioned that I was going to take my situation and diagnosis seriously now. So even though I attacked someone, I didn’t get jail time. I got off “easy” with just house arrest.
There is, however and ofcourse, the other perspective on the matter; that of wich I shouldn’t have been punished at all. Given that, apparently, I wasn’t in my right mind when the act was committed. That you can’t really hold someone being held at the hospital against their will, who is also claimed to have a mental illness to be held accountable for thier actions. So the sentencing was, arguably, too harsh (8 months of house arrest, 8 months on curfew and 8 months of probation; totalling 2 years). Even having to appear in court was deemed unfathomable to many people. I am somebody who was at the hospital and supposedly feeling very sick.
In all cases, I am being productive with my time given my situation and making the most out of it. I know that I’m a healer, a wounded healer, and this is part of my journey.
Other things that I partake in to help me continue to be and feel awesome is spending time in nature and spending lots time in my yard. Walks by the beach are realxing and chilling by the lake is rejuvinating especially while I listen to upbeat music on my bluetooth speakers. Money is also taken care of. I receive social assistance and my needs are taken care of.
Tobacco is very helpful to me and I discuss being pro-tobacco in this article. In summary, tobacco is like fire. Fire can burn you to death or it can warm you up and also provide for a cozy atmosphere. It can cook your food but it can also burn down your house. So I exercise my caution when utilizing fire and fire power and use it to my benefit.
I drink a herbal remedy/tea every day. And I also smoke herbs at my leisure. These herbs keep me well, sane and very happy.
As a wounded healer, I have the purpose and drive to help others. Whether they have a mental illness and I could be of aid to them with the help of my lived experience or the regular folk that could use a boost in their life and lifestyle. As, given that I lead a great life whislt having this condition, there’s no stopping people who have their health in, or almost in, check to reach the highest potential in life, achive elevated happiness and discover that they too can be happy at all times.
Having big dreams and knowing you can achieve anything you want and desire is a great force for being driven. Having ambition creates a huge reason to want to live; to get out of bed, take care of yourself, and make some really valuable connections and foster marvellous relationships.
Know that you are well taken care of, and the same force that got you through everything you have gone through. And the same force and hand that made you grow into theis amazing human being is still with you guiding you towards your sublime life.
I’m looking forward to get to know you and all my readers and viewers personally. So that we may come together and grow as a community: manifesting our dream reality together; having all kinds of freedoms and wealth. And vitality for life and vigour and zest.
We are to get outdependance. As opposed to being suckered into the loophole of wanting independence (in the prison and it’s dense – as opposed to out the prison system and dancing- outdependance)!!!!
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